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12 items across three collections. None of them exist.

(not set)

WC-APP-001

The (not set) Tee

Two words, one parenthesis pair, and the quiet devastation of a dimension that was never going to resolve.

$38.00

?utm_source=tshirt&utm_medium=apparel

WC-APP-002

The UTM-Tagged Tee

A garment that finally closes the attribution loop on garments. Wearing it in public is a measurable acquisition channel.

$42.00

the pipelineis fine

WC-APP-003

The Pipeline Is Fine

Understated typography. One very small flame, bottom right, easily missed until someone is standing close enough to have already asked.

$38.00

at least oncedelivery

WC-DRK-001

At Least Once Delivery

A mug that guarantees your coffee arrives. Possibly several times. Idempotency is your responsibility, as it always was.

$26.00

it works inDebugView

WC-DRK-002

It Works In DebugView

The measurement profession's answer to "works on my machine", and about as reassuring to the person asking.

$26.00

NULL ≠ 0

WC-DRK-003

NULL Is Not Zero

Three characters that have prevented more bad dashboards than any governance policy ever written.

$24.00

Event NamePropertiesTriggerOwner

WC-POL-001

Event Taxonomy Sticky Pads

Yellow pads pre-printed with the four fields every event needs. The only item in this store that is a genuine working tool wearing a joke as a disguise.

$18.00

context windowexceeded

WC-POL-002

Context Window Exceeded

A dot-grid notebook whose title becomes accurate at precisely the moment you reach the last page.

$22.00

SELECT *FROM regrets

WC-POL-003

SELECT * FROM regrets

Vinyl, matte, unreasonably well set. No WHERE clause, because there never is one when it matters.

$6.00

stochasticparrot

WC-POL-004

Stochastic Parrot Pin

Hard enamel, bronze plating, one parrot. Wear it sincerely or ironically; nobody will be able to tell, which is the point.

$14.00

sample ratiomismatch

WC-POL-005

Sample Ratio Mismatch

The two words that invalidate a quarter of work and the fortnight of meetings that follow them.

$6.00

contains nopersonal data

WC-POL-006

PII-Free Tote

Heavy cotton. Carries groceries, laptops, and a compliance claim that is, for once, completely verifiable.

$20.00